Where were you when Billy Mays died?
The cable news people are already trotting out the commercials. In a week that lost Ed McMahon, Farah Fawcett and Michael Jackson, Billy’s death at 50 has left a mournful nation stunned, numb. Could it get worse?
The incessant videos of Jacko’s “Moonwalking” ™ have been replaced. Billy’s dulcet tones exhorting us to buy Oxyclean, and OrangGlo now dominate the airwaves (without permission?).
According to Fox News, Deborah Mays, Bill’s widow released a statement, “Although Billy lived a public life, we don’t anticipate making any public statements over the next couple of days. Our family asks that you respect our privacy during these difficult times,”
One wonders where a country already insecure will turn when looking for inexpensive value furniture polish. Rumor has it that commemorations are being held at Wal-Marts and CVS stores all over the world. In loud imprecations they are reported to be chanting, “”Long live your laundry!”
The Huffington Post reports, Mays liked to tell the story of giving bottles of OxiClean to the 300 guests at his wedding, and doing his ad spiel (“powered by the air we breathe!”) on the dance floor at the reception. Visitors to his house typically got bottles of cleaner and housekeeping tips.
The Post reveals, Discovery Channel spokeswoman Elizabeth Hillman released a statement “Everyone that knows him was aware of his larger-than-life personality, generosity and warmth,” Hillman’s statement said. “Billy was a pioneer in his field and helped many people fulfill their dreams. He will be greatly missed as a loyal and compassionate friend.”
Anyone who has insomnia knows who Billy Mays was. Although there are no reports of people gathering at their Pittsburg home weeping and holding up clean laundry, one has to wonder who will soon awake them with that loud, lovable infectious tone at three in the am selling us financial services or furniture polish.
Life… or at least our collars will seem a little bit darker.
Here’s the reaction from one disraught fan:
I have wept since I saw the news. I will miss him deeply and my clothes will never be the same. My only regret is that I can’t spend my day watching coverage.
Question. Does Ms. Sanford use those products? Perhaps Maria did and was able to clean those pesky stains in that blue dress of hers.
Dear God.
Comment by Jerry Adams — June 29, 2009 @ 3:22 pm |
It is sad for the man’s passing, but not the role of pitchman. What a loss, and at age 50.
I’m wrinkling already in my sixties. Sometimes, I wish there was a product or line that would make any of the stains or lacklusterness in our economy or personal lives, metaphorically speaking.
Royalties: Yes, David, the commercials should bring profits or madden the maddening insomniacs.
In death, and not in life when he had millions of dollars in debt–Michael Jackson achieves sainthood as King of Pop–sad but true. And now, the second coming–more popular King.
And, all those royalties go to the powers to be and his children?
Does Billy get royalties on all of those irritating, but “clean” commercials, or does a percentage of the profits, as a partner, go to his estate?
On the downside, aside from his loss to the media and to his family and friends, I honestly reacted and said to myself and Bill, “At least I don’t have to endure his incessant high pitched “pitch” voice.
In an instant, when he appeared, out of desperation, I had to quickly press the mute button to keep from going deaf or nutty. It reminded me of the old standby–the squeaky, high pitched irritating chalk running amok across the blackboard.
Silence is golden in some instances. I’m partially deaf, I think, from Manhattan jackhammers, and other construction noises, traffic horns, crashes, street screaming, a few gun shots piercing the air. Thank G-d I live on an island.
Billy Mays is silent, but his pitches go on.
Seriously, an Mr. Clean Icon–He is certainly cleaner and more respected in life as in death then Mr. “Clean” Sanford…His dirty laundry needs an Oxyclean boost, for sure. I hope he learns how to do his own laundry, somewhere far far away.
Rest in peace Billy.
Comment by Diane Scher — June 29, 2009 @ 3:43 pm |
Speaking of furniture polish, I was reminded that a good quality furniture polish formed the chief ingredient in many of the ancient and festive Charleston punches: served, of course, with lots of ice. I remember after one particular afternoon reception hosted by one of the venerable Church Street dowagers, one of the ladies attending commenting on my fluency in French (I actually don’t speak a word of it.) Who will supplant Mr. Mays as the creditable spokesman for high grade furniture polish…our receptions may never be the same.
Comment by Ben McC. Moise — June 30, 2009 @ 6:15 pm |